I met Irene from Couture Petite (who’s super adorable) and their Celebrity Makeup Artist Shalini Vadhera, whose had quite the roster of clients.  Throughout my session, Body Shop associates kept coming up and commenting on how luminous my makeup looked, courtesy of their full line of bronzing products. We were offered goodie bags and photos with professional photographer Paul Nathan. I was really impressed with the quality of their makeup products. Helloooooo Gorgeous!

I was amazed at how much fair trade sourcing they do, and I really liked the idea of “trade,  not aid“.  The Body Shop promotes small and struggling economies around the world by sourcing ingredients, with the objective of “creating trade to help people in the Third World utilise their resources to meet their own needs”.  Having studied the phenomenon of trade in third world economies in Econ, I believe this is much more effective than throwing money at a problem until it goes away. This might be considered anti-capitalist or anti-globalization, but the Body Shop philosophy is actually in favour of international marketplaces. The Body Shop uses its profits and influence to enact fair labour practices, safe working environments and pay equality.  That’s definitely cool in my book, because that’s the best way to boost the international marketplace.

Another interesting thing the Body Shop lists in their values is their Stop Trafficking campaign, calling for a safe harbor law for child-victims of sex trafficking.  In their campaign they say,

The US should change the laws that allow children to be arrested and prosecuted when
they are victims of sex trafficking. Instead of arrest they should be offered support and
protection as they are in New York and Washington states.

A “safe harbor” law can:

• Protect and prevent any person under the age of 18 from being charged, prosecuted or incarcerated for prostitution.
• Refer exploited children to special services and shelters that will support their recovery.
• Require the training of law enforcement, judges and first responders

I think this is a wonderful and worthy campaign so I asked how I could help. Lara, my Body Shop contact, said it’s as simple as getting people to sign the petition.  She offered a couple goodies to give away to participants who’ve signed, so I have 3 items from their Honey Bronze line to give out to you, dear readers.  They are the Honey Bronzing Powder in Medium, the Honey Bronze Face Gel, and the Honey Bronze Brilliance Powder.  Faux, being my preferred method of bronzing, I can say I’ve used all three products (as well as the Honey Bronze Shimmering Dry Oil) and they’re shimmery, but not too heavy – great for a sun-kissed glow without the risk to your skin.

So click below to add your signature to the petition and comment to let me know you’ve signed.  You can also tell people about this petition (and contest) by tweeting:

Help @birdiee and @thebodyshopusa stop Sex Trafficking! Sign the petition (& let us know, to win a Honey Bronze set). http://bit.ly/j6VYsK

On July 15th, I’ll pick a name from the comments and tweets about this post, and the recipient will receive this lovely little care package, courtesy of the Body Shop.  I’m excited to be helping the Body Shop with such a great cause.

In a grand gesture of “I DO WHAT I WANT”, last night Scarlet bleached out sections of my hair framing my face and I took the plunge.  See, my hair is this mix of blue demi-permanent dye mixed with a purple-silver-black demi-permanent dye.  You can tell it’s this indigo color in bright sunlight, or – if I’ve got my hair pulled back, you might discover the tiny baby hairs around my face are blue.  When the color fades I mix a little Special Effects blue with my conditioner and my indigo color springs back to life.  That is, unless Scarlet has bleached out portions of my hair, which then turns this manic cobalt color.

I’ve always had hair color that isn’t my own (since I was … 14?) and I think it’s fun to play with color that way.  But it was always a red, auburn, sometimes the color of cherry cola… and then a few years back I lightened up and we put some orange into it.  My job at the time scoffed, but decided it wasn’t my whole head.  It was also a color close enough to real hair color, so that they left me alone.

And then we played with highlights…

And then I decided it should be pink – or at least partly so, in order to keep “the man” off my back about having an “interesting and unnatural” haircolor.  The hilarious thing about that was being called out at work – a passing comment in which our HR person told me, “Well it’s not like it’s blue or purple or green.  It’s close enough to real hair color so we won’t have to write you up.”

It never dawned on me until then that I could maybe be “less” if my hair was a strange color.  I mean, it’s not like the dye alters your brain.  The society we live in is more accepting of tattoos, piercings and things out of the ordinary, so why should I be written up for having HAIR that’s an interesting color.  Of all the things that could be “wrong” about me, as a person, you pick that?  Something as harmless as hair follicles.

Last night as we pulled the blue color through the bleached hairs, I thought back to that feeling.  I’m interviewing for some freelance/contract stuff right now and I wondered for a moment if having fun highlights in my hair might ruin my chances for work.  Because let’s face it – we still live in a world where “the man” can reprimand us for self expression.  So I may NOT get the job – regardless of whether or not I work harder than the next girl who doesn’t use bright colors in her hair.

I had a brief second of “O wow. What have I done?” and then I realized that I don’t want to work in a place that doesn’t accept me head to toe.  I will put my best work forward for that company that says “we don’t base your performance reviews on hair color”.  I realize that comes from a position of privilege – some people may not have the option of saying “I don’t want to work anywhere that doesn’t like my (unnatural) hair color, tattoos… etc”.  But I also think there has to be a way to approach these companies we work for and say, “Listen, I want to express myself this way – You know it doesn’t affect how I work for you”, without fear of reprimand.

And there’s a whole ideology behind that statement – “I whip my hair” is the power of individuality (that, or I’m reading too deeply into pop culture).  It’s the power of you over those who think they can keep you down.  Fear of individuality?  That’s no way to live.

What do you think?  Is your company cool with that? How do you handle self expression at work?

–

There was an article in Newsweek asking what the media standard of super-thin models is doing to our society.  With the close of NYFW that February, Newsweek reported that an epidemic of slimness was on the rise again! They mentioned the symposium at Bryant Park on weight guidelines in the fashion industry – noting harrowing stories of models who were only allowed to eat “lethally small amounts of lettuce and Diet Coke“.  The article reports that, although the industry claims to be monitoring girls for unhealthy habits, designers are hesitant to impose minimum weight guidelines for catwalk models – Diane Von Furstenburg, most notably, saying weighing runway models would happen “over my dead body.”

(Img courtesy of NY Magazine)

The article pointed out the discrepancy between fashion models and the average woman.  On average, an American woman stands 5?4? at 155lbs, where the average model now boasts a height of 5?10? and weighs 23% less than that.  No wonder women today cling to fad diets and unhealthy eating habits that could eventually lead to more weight gain in the end.

(Img courtesy of LongStation.com and Amber Mac)

The models themselves can’t even keep up with their own images – the article notes that even after hours of hair and makeup styling, their photos go through hours of rigorous photo-manipulation to look perfect on the cover of popular fashion mags.  No wonder women feel a little outdone by runway and magazine models – their images are unreal.  They’ve had their freckles erased, every stray hair photoshopped into perfection, their legs and necks lengthened, their faces slimmed and realigned for symmetry, their nose shaped, their breasts lifted – and all of it is done through the click of some editor’s mouse.

(Img courtesy of Jezebel.com and David Airey)

In the end, these images we’re bombarded with on a daily basis may contribute to how we perceive ourselves.  In Dove’s “Real Truth About Beauty” study, Dr. Nancy Etcoff of Harvard University says:

“Only the minority of women see themselves as above average in appearance, and only 2% claim to be beautiful… Indeed, the study shows that women are less satisfied with their beauty than with almost every other dimension of life except their financial success.“

And Dr. Susie Orbach from the London School of Economics states,

“The overwhelming majority of women … [do not] wish to be excluded because they fail to find their beauty reflected in the images which bombard them, on average, in 2000 advertisements per week.… Beauty itself must be revitalized to reflect women in their beauty as they really are rather than as portrayed in the current fictions that dominate our visual culture.“

Indeed, the study did show that women feel that the ideal standard of physical attractiveness is almost impossible to obtain, and that weight and proportions are inextricably linked to that standard of beauty.

The best part of the Dove study was that women do consider beauty a combination of factors (including physical attractiveness).  Women do know that beauty is about who you are, not just how you look according to some fictitious standard set by the advertising industry – but with the continuing bombardment by mainstream media, we sometimes find it hard to believe.

Perhaps we are judging ourselves a little too harshly against some false standard set by people who want to sell us product.  The truth is, beauty IS on the inside as well as the outside.  If you feel good about yourself, and feel confident in your lifestyle and choices, that inner radiance will shine through.

It’s time we recognize the unrealistic standards our media and fashion industries set, and begin to love our selves, despite what anyone else thinks is beautiful.  Appreciate people (including yourself), not solely for their physical attractiveness, but for that beauty they possess that isn’t based on weight or proportion.

Sources:
Newsweek.  Why Skinny Models Could Be Making Us Fat.  Feb 28, 2007.
Dove’s Campaign for Real Beauty.  The Truth About Real Beauty: A Global Report. September 2004.

In a way I was shocked, but I definitely wasn’t sad.  I came in, did my work, and went home to the rest of my life.  If I’d thrown myself into it wholeheartedly, we should have written me off entirely.  In my eyes, I would have been a fool doing a fool’s job, instead of an uninterested but intelligent person doing what I had to to get by.   And that’s the thing – when you start working on something you actually care about, everything changes.  Necessity is the mother of self-invention.

YSL image found at theerrantaesthete.com

There is a quite the necessity in heading out into an unfamiliar world, armed only with the tools you’ve gained along the way.   What do I do with myself, where do I go and how do I maintain a lifestyle I’ve become accustomed to?  I spent a few moments asking myself that.  Well of course, I’ve applied for school, I have Deco Modiste, I have a little work here and there for Totally Blown Glassworks, and I have my own little side project,  making crafty stuff to sell on Etsy.

I asked myself this very question and quickly realized:  You do what you can with what you have with where you are – to paraphrase Bob Dylan.  I have things to do!  Places to go!  And a few maxims to keep in mind…

Be a little fearless and ready to embrace the moment.  Be aware of opportunities that spring into your lap.  These opportunities may take a moment to build, but are worth a lifetime in experience and possibility.   Fretting about what you’re going to do with your time from here on out is silly when it blinds you to all the stuff you could be doing that could become your day job.

Make yourself accessible and user-friendly.  Put yourself out there, carry your business cards (which I had from before my unemployment) and toot your own horn – but in a way that will make it easy for your potential project to come to you.

Redefine the concept of money so you feel comfortable making it.  Maybe you realize you don’t need to make a lot of money to be very happy.  Most millionaires are uncomfortable being seen as rich.  Maybe it’s the connotations that the word “rich” brings to mind, or maybe it’s the fact that the work that rakes in the dough doesn’t make them feel rich inside.  Whatever the case, toil away at something that moves you and you’ll feel rich.  Or toil away at something simple and enjoy the richness of your life outside your day job.

Desire less.  Yeah, fashion/lifestyle blogger says, “what!?”  But learning to cull your desires for *newnewnew* and waiting for *the best* to come around may save you money in the long run, right? Look for things that are versatile, buy only if it’s not something you have, and make sure it will stand up to the wear and tear of your every day life.

Find a way to be generous.  Give your time where you can and good things will come.  Maybe you find that definition of “rich” that you feel comfortable having.  Expend effort, give a hand here or there.  Maybe intern or volunteer (totally qualifies as being generous with your time) and you may find that real opportunity you’ve been looking for.

Got any more tips for me babes?  Cos I could use them!

Yours always,

Uniform project, photo found via Instant Stylist

My  hurdles: My current lifestyle is killing my creativity.  I get up at 4:30 or 5a to go to work and it takes an extra effort to shake off sleep and dress myself properly.  I’d set out an outfit at night, but I often forget because I’m working.  Even if I did set something out, generally by morning, I’m disinterested in what I’ve put together after looking out the window and realizing it’s dark-o-clock and pouring rain.  I default to maximum comfort, maximum warmth, very little effort.  It’s hard not to just slop on a hat, a pair of jeans and my coat – especially since all I want to do after work is go home, have dinner and go to bed.  The office is constantly 65 degrees and I end up just wearing my wool trench all day.  Why dress up underneath if I’m just going to cover it up?!

Meanwhile, the career market has gotten more serious as I grow older.  Since I’m not a student right now, I need to stay within the confines of dreary “business casual”.  Oh joy – gray slacks, sensible shoes and easy sweaters.  I doubt I could pull off harem pants at work – or could I?  At my office, I’d probably be made fun of (a sad fact – interesting style choices are often constantly questioned, or ridiculed).  I can imagine more serious workplaces frowning upon some of the current styles as business casual.

I’ve also found myself in a sort of  body-awkward phase, moving out of my gangly 20′s into a now filled-out almost-30s.  I’ve been running with Mister and have grown quite the posterior.  It looks nice (I did just give my butt props… and proof that it’s not just my butt!) but some of my wardrobe just doesn’t fit now.  I hate that in-between stage where I know my body is changing but I don’t have the means to keep up with it.  In an uncomfortable twist of fate, many of my sweaters have shrunk in the body (improper washing! ARGH) or they seem too twee to wear around.

At times I know just what look I’m going for, but have no idea how to get there.  I want my wardrobe to look svelte and beautiful, while interesting and quirky.  I don’t want to look like a teen, trying too hard to be adult, but I want it to look fun!  My closet is filled with my past mistakes (you know; big and baggy, meets too-tiny minis) and I don’t understand some of the current fashions – for example, I wish people would get over harem pants, yet at the same time I kind of want a pair.

I realized the other day that the only time I’m dressing up is if we’re going out.  I don’t know what my day to day style is.  I set a style statement, but it’s escaped me considering my schedule and lifestyle right now.  So how do you work against this sartorial malaise?  I’ve created all these hurdles not to dress up so I feel the need to brainstorm ideas to overcome the hurdles… And they need to be ways I can break out of the rut without going broke!

Set out clothes for the morning: In my case, it means just wearing whatever I set out the night before – no grumbling allowed!  It also means checking the weather forecast when I’m trying to decide, and it means looking for maximum comfort that looks good.

Keep track of what works: Post it notes maybe? I’ve heard Polaroids work, but who has the cash to keep up with buying the film?!  Sheesh!  This seems like a great failsafe if I decide not to set anything out the night before.  Easy reference!

Create inspiration: I have magazine tears for this and that – a mood board would maybe help with inspiration, right?  I was gifted a copy of The Sartorialist (the book) for my birthday and what better inspiration to leave on my dresser.  Pick a page at random and use that for outfit inspiration for the day!

Change your lifestyle: Okay – this may be extreme in some cases, but I can imagine it’d work for people who don’t get up at the asscrack of dawn.  Maybe getting up an extra 15 minutes early would help a person wake up, so that they can make clearheaded style decisions.  Maybe scheduling time to do creative things during the day would help change my perspective of my work life right now?

Create a wardrobe challenge: Like those people who do the 30 for 30 challenges, or the little black dress thing – where you wear the same basic uniform, but style it differently each day.  It could turn out really well, building a mental portfolio of different styles, or I could end up just wearing the exact same thing every day, and liking it!  Mixing in color is also a good way to get out of a rut of gray-black-gray that I tend to adapt when I become bored of fashion.

I scoured the internet for pearls of wisdom and came up – for the most part – empty handed.  Got any tips for me that might help?

Memory Lane by Violet on Flickr

Those things happened – but they are no longer reality.  Remind yourself of that, as often as you need to.   Remind yourself that you can start from scratch, and you will move forward.   Look yourself in the eye and say “It happened, it’s over, and it isn’t my now.  I’m moving forward”   Guilt and despair are both little angry voices inside your head that belittle you and keep you down.    Guilting yourself won’t make it better;  guilt won’t make the hurt go away, it won’t make anyone forgive you.  It won’t make you a better person.  You know, deep down, you did the best you could with what you had, and what you were dealing with.

I know just saying it won’t make it any easier, but you have the power to realize the past is like a dream.  It’s something that happened in some other alternate universe.  Time helps.   And so does knowing every day is a do-over. That past thing doesn’t make you who you are, but it points you to where you need to/want to be.  Think about the situation – not as an actor, but as an observer – like you’re watching it on tv or reading it in a book.  When you’re ready to be done with the weirdness, close the book.  You can feel empathy for the characters, but mentally remove yourself from the scenario, taking with you the ultimate lesson.

Quarantining those old memories - is in a sense, like closing a book –  it frees you from all the emotions attached to each memory so that you can move forward into new situations and adventures.   Waiting for external closure means missing out on better opportunities.  Realizing the closure you’ve had since is key to turning that final page in the book of your memory.

If it’s absolution you’re looking for, every new day is absolution.  It’s your chance to do everything and do it right.  The universe doesn’t remember what happened – only people remember and chances are their view is skewed in their own personal way.  They forget the way it was, they remember things that happened differently.  Take two deep breaths, and hold your head high.  You’re the best person you can be, and that’s pretty damn good!  Those other people will think what they will  - always.  And the beauty of that scenario is that when you don’t give a damn, you feel a lot more peaceful.

Remember that you have time on your side.  You have the power to cultivate new experiences.  You have a whole span of time in front of you and with that, you can choose to wallow in the stuff that has happened, or you can choose to make new, amazing things happen.   Now that you’ve finished that chapter, you’re ready to move forward.

Got anything to add for those out there in readerland?  Leave it in the comments!

She’s got unbridled enthusiasm for the next step.   She’s experienced the learning curve and now she’s ready to come forward, take charge, and live exactly as she pleases.  She’s distinctive and rejects limitations.  She’s independent, and footloose in a “New Century, New Universe” -way.  The times are a’changin’, and there’s a whole list of infinite possibilities available.  Why not sample them all?  She’s here for revolution; she’ll take the world by storm.

She’s always ready for action in tailored good looks. A Parisian influence gives her that polished, precise, put together air, even when she’s not.  She’s able to be business as usual, while still tending her own needs, and she realizes the need for both introversion and extroversion as components of well balanced character.    It’s not just about how she styles herself – she’s put together in how she carries and conducts herself.  Manners are never second nature and she believes people work with the best intentions.  She’ll laugh at mistakes and kill them all with kindness.  The Modern Lady (or Gentleman) has been taught consideration for the world.  She’s educated, polite, and she’s able to think for herself.   She’s still a wild child at heart though, but she strives for simplicity and directness, and behaves well enough in public.  When she wants to be, she’s quite the charming mischief-maker. Her mischievous nature is always just right for her situation.

With her polished look, she’s still opulent in style as a reaction to the forced austerity felt in recent times.  There’s a hedonism in the way she dresses – dressing for herself solely.  She’s into sparkles, bangles, trinkets that clink, but she knows when to take one item off before leaving the house.  She’s aware that she’ll make an impression and she knows exactly what it should be.  She’s still a hedonist in the way she conducts herself – because she knows contentment and self respect are one in the same.

She’s ornamented, but polished; she’s expressive and intrigued by the esoteric.  She’s always romantic, and romantically inclined towards life.  Her look is eclectic and artistic, mixing soft organic nouveau style with dramatic sharp-lined modernism.  She is slightly abstract in a syncopated rhythm.  She digs pattern, and pairs it with flowing contrast.

She wears: wingtip boots, flowing fabrics, gold and silver, deconstructed-yet-tailored pieces, ridiculous shoes that still fit the occasion, excessive hats, flapper fringe, structure, lace, bold prints, jeweled colors,  anything but bodycon, black and white, furs (faux and vintage), feathers and flowers in her hair, her heart on her sleeve.

Want to get specific?  See the inspiration here: My Atomic Nouveau Mood Board.

“I needed something serious – a big change.  I was going through one of those lifestyle lightbulb moments when you realize you’ve outgrown your current state.  It wasn’t just my style that had flopped, but something inside me wasn’t being fulfilled.  I needed catharsis.”

And the first thing I did was completely alter my look.  I figure the best way to keep momentum is to see change.  I feel a little “New Year, New You” and I’ve decided to call it Atomic Nouveau.

Atomic Nouveau: Hyperbolic Art Deco meets Nouveau Post Impressionism with a very Mod Atomic age twist. Ornamented, classic, Parisian Modern, gamin boheme, space age pop, lost age socialite, effervescent and intoxicating.

Putting it into words was the hardest part.

I used Mosaic Maker to dump all my favorite photo links into to get one great big virtual inspiration board.

click for a larger view...

And because I was feeling a little Art Deco, I did something shocking, yet not unexpected…

Oh Yes I Did.

Shouts out to Louise Brooks for being so babelicious.  She’s my hair-inspiration which is cropped to flapper-bob style in a velvety silver-purple, indigo-blue.

Louise Brooks: Ultimate Flapper

We headed to Portland for my birthday/NYE to spend some quality time having quality mischief.  We did stay at the Jupiter which has the worst water heaters ever.  It’s quaint though, and a bonus being right next to the Doug Fir.

This was my New Years Eve/Birthday Outfit:

• Top – Dorothy Perkins
• Leggings – American Apparel
• Dr Martens Regina boots.
• Hairpiece – Ban.Do (borrowed from Raishawn till I obtain my own)
• Bag – Toriska on Etsy
• Heart Necklace – Tarina Tarantino
• Paloma Picasso oversize bangle (a birthday gift from Mr!)
• Heart charm bracelet – Vintage

I’m betting on this new look to bring a mindset of urban boheme excitement.  It’s only the first in a set of changes for the new year…  What do you think?

I was looking through my Flickr and noting how I had played on my projected 2010 style direction.  I was pleased at how I’d presented myself through photo, even though I completely lost track of my anticipated direction.  I had a heavy series of outfit posts at the beginning of the year.  It gave me something to look at, to reference and document.  Also it helped me keep track of all the fun stuff I was doing at the time…

I think I lost a little bit of identity when I changed my haircolor though.  Looking back at these photos I missed the pop of My Little Pony Magic that my hair had.

And it was all really cute.  I felt good about the way I was styling myself.  Also, the skeleton in the top corner of that last pic is one of my favorite decor oddities in my house. �

I branched out and started wearing gold, which I’d previously shied away from.  I had mixed metallics, bird pendants, feathery hair and fun shoes.  I dressed it up.

I felt vintage and modern at the same time.  Retro and futuristic.   I mastered pincurls.  I wore fun hats.  I bought opera gloves and carried vintage bags out of sheer frivolity.

And then right about HERE, there was a hugenormous break.   I forgot about dressing and committed to 6am Work Madness, Wedding Planning, Puppy Wrangling.   I had a serious bout of the blues for a bit, there, and I lapsed into tees and jeans.  I was confused by our weather, and my daily schedule.  I felt like I wasn’t on point.  I also had that post-26-year body change to contend with, that was redefining the way I wore my wardrobe.   I was only dressing up for occasions.  Or if I needed to look cute for an after work happy-hour and even those were sparse.  I needed something serious – a big change.  I was going through one of those lifestyle lightbulb moments when you realize you’ve outgrown your current state.  It wasn’t just my style that had flopped, but something inside me wasn’t being fulfilled.  I needed catharsis.

When I resurfaced, I found myself in the cusp between cute, funky 20′s clothes and more modern, svelte upper 20′s early 30′s hotness.  I figure my style direction for 2011 will be that catharsis along with a well as a needed lifestyle change!  I’m excited to be working towards a more fitting and fun style statement, and I’m overjoyed to get back to the things that drive me.

1. Break down your behavior into chunks – Look at the little pieces of your behavior, these small bites are what you’re going to tackle, one by one.   You might find that changing a behavior has a lot of implications.  Changing your name, you know, isn’t just going down to the County building and filling out some forms.  It’s changing your driver’s licence, changing the name on your bank account, changing the name on your light bill and your vehicle registration and your passport and, hell, even your college transcripts.  This will help you take baby steps to gradually work towards an end goal.  Logically sequence it out:  First things first you have to actually change the name, the next thing you need to do is hit the Department of Licensing, because your bank wants to see valid ID to change your name there.  You get the picture.
2. Examine the consequences of not changing – Look, is this thing you want to change really bad for you?  How does it affect you?   Do your friends balk at taking you places because you curse like a sailor only to offend soccer moms and old ladies?  Without seeing the consequences of your action, changing the action loses relevance.
3. Make your change slow but steady - Start with saying, “I’m going to do this one small additional thing, each month, to work towards my goal.”  Maybe it’s that you’re going to hit the gym every other Tuesday in January.  Then in February, you’re going to hit the gym every Tuesday.  Be consistent with how you add on those tasks you want to accomplish.   I hate to say its like training puppies, but the best way to teach your dog not to chew the plastic tabs off the end of your shoelaces, is to consistently keep them up and out of his way.  I learned that one the hard way, and now I have several pair of shoelaces to replace.
4. Be realistic about what you truly can accomplish – You’re not going to go from tone deaf to American Idol overnight.  Setting unrealistic goals only discourages your progress.  Be kind to yourself and realistically set goals that you CAN achieve.
5. Enjoy the act – relish in reinforcing change.  You know that thing about hitting the gym on Tuesdays?  Don’t complain.  Instead, be proud of yourself for going even when you feel like just sitting on the sofa with a pint of Chunky Monkey (You know, that’s MY favorite thing to do, too!) You also should enjoy the outcome – reap the reward of change.  So when you are hitting the gym every Tuesday, don’t feel bad for having that scoop of Chunky Monkey after dinner.  Also, relish in how great you feel after you go.  Oh, and definitely compliment yourself when you realize how great your derriere looks in those jeans.
6. Reward yourself (but not in a way that directly conflicts with the behavior you’re trying to change) – So say you have a shopping addiction that you want to break.  Don’t reward yourself for not shopping for a week by shopping with the girls on Friday.  That’s like taking one step forward and two steps backwards.  Reward yourself instead with a decadent bubble bath (and this is the part where you’re like, “Well SOMEONE has to buy bubble bars from LUSH!” and I’m like, “You’re ruining my narrative!  And you probably already have several LUSH bubble bars!”), or take yourself out to a nice meal.   Just don’t let THAT become your replacement habit.
7. Simplify the thought process – You have some grand scheme where you buy a new gym outfit.  This is going to motivate you to get up at 5am, have a protein shake, and then go to the gym on Tuesday.  Then you’re going to come home and try to get ready to get to work on time.   OR! How about this simpler method?  You’re going to go to work and then hit the gym when you get home and are not rushed to do stuff.  Oh and is that cute gym outfit really necessary?  Really?
8. Prepare for problems – In all honesty, you’re probably going to slip at some point because you’re human. Anticipate safety nets where you can.  Your shopping addiction got hold of you at the last Ruelala designer final sale, but you’re not going to be eating ramen for the next week, because you saved a little extra last month.  This also means, Keep Calm and Carry On.  Just because you slipped up a little doesn’t make you a bad person.  It also doesn’t give you free license to abandon your resolutions.
9. Appreciate and be mindful about the journey.  Monitor your behavior.  Journal it out if you need to.  Make a blog post about it!  Enlist your friends to help – even if it’s just one of them to pat you on the back.  Know what you’re doing is going to better your lifestyle.  Believe!
10. Remind yourself of your plan to change – constantly and consistently.  Yeah, consistent.  That word keeps popping up.  Buy yourself a pack of post-it notes and a pretty, sparkly sharpie and motivate thyself.  Tie a string around your finger so you don’t “accidentally forget” to do that thing you need to do to get the ball rolling.
11. Control the environment - set the stage for success.  You know if you’re going to cut out sweets, you can’t have that roll of sugar cookie dough in your fridge.  Make those bad boys, have ONE, and then give the rest to your friends.  And then don’t buy any more, because if you do, you know you’re back at square one.
12. Practice! And celebrate the small successes.  If you don’t, this won’t be any fun.

Try this set of steps to get to that dream goal …  there are only 12.  That’s like, one step, each month.  Take as long as you need, or as little time as you want.  Go get ‘em, Tiger!  For me?  Maybe it should be blogging, eh?

Having a hard time thinking up good resolutions?  Go here and play with this: Resolution Generator

PSSSST! Bonne Vie has a Facebook page so you can keep updated on when I do (or do not) post.  Check it out!

And more later on where I’ve been and what I’ve been up to…