This year I got the boot from my “safe” job that was slowly wearing away at my nerves.  This was probably the best gift-in-disguise I’d ever received.  I felt safe, and totally relied on the paychecks that came in on the regular.  I had motivation to leave, but I didn’t have the cojones.  You know when you are stuck in a rut and there’s reason to leave but you’re afraid to take that plunge?  That was me.  When it did happen, I packed up my things, walked out to my car and did a Saved-By-The-Bell-style, jump and “Woohooo!”  I never thought I’d be so relieved to be laid off (for “restructuring” apparently…)

This year I found a new job doing work that I love, and inevitably find myself doing.  I work with a Web Design, SEO and Social Media company: RoryMartin.com.  I’m their Campaign Genius (that’s what my cards say) and we specialize in thinking outside the box.  Being able to creatively think about the work I have is a huge bonus, and everyone I work with is incredibly cool. Oh and did I mention I get to work from the comfort of my own office, write creatively every day and set my own hours?  Productivity is bliss!

Oh and I got into school!  The pursuit of that magic piece of paper from an esteemed university somewhere has been my goal for… well… ages.  I’m a brain.  I like learning stuff and I finally felt it was a good time to get with it.  I hadn’t previously, because former job frowned on my educational goals.  For real.  Like they told me I could not work and go to school (nevermind that I’ve been taking evening classes for like 3 years).  I was pretty appalled that they’d tell me I couldn’t go to school – most employers are thrilled because they can mold your education to their needs. So I put in an application at UW (hard school to get into) and they laid me off, and then last Friday I got the acceptance letter.  I’ll be studying French (something I love) at an amazing school.  And my new employer is totally stoked for me.

Other goals have been connecting and maintaining relationships with amazing people and making sure Deco Modiste is off to a good start.  It’s amazing to watch all this stuff just fall into place.  I generally don’t give a whole lot of credit to magical manifestation, but I really feel like when you want something badly enough, your whole being goes into overdrive to get there (whether you realize it or not).

Little things are: Being more creative about my ensembles.  Attending fun events like Haute Summer Night and the Body Shop Honey Bronze event (more on that soon).  Learning from those with experience.  Gym-related endorphins.  Being able to walk the pup around the neighborhood in the sun.  Buying my ever-coveted white Chanel sunglasses (COVETCOVET).  Summer travels.  Gettin’ shit done!

How are your goals for the year going (so far)?  Is there anything you want to achieve in the next 6 months?  I’d love to hear about it.

Mark Laubenheimer More Beautiful Than Fiction

Click that image to read….

It started a couple months back, when I got an email from  Mark Laubenheimer.  Mark, a local (Seattle) photographer, takes gorgeous photos of normal people – untouched, unadulterated, using natural light and simple settings.  Mark needed a foreword for his newest project, and after stumbling across Bonne Vie, he seemed to think I was the perfect author for that task.   His last book, Seriously Happy, was a success – garnering loads of praise:

“I LOVE your work; It brings out so much natural beauty.  I get lost in the faces of your subjects, not the clothes, makeup, or trick lighting.”

The beauty of Mark’s work is in its simplicity.  In an age of overly retouched photos, it seems like we’ve forgotten the simple idea that we can be beautiful without complicated lighting, rigorous photoshopping and altering the way we truly look.

So take a peek.  These snapshots tell true stories, and one of those stories could be yours.  You are beautiful – more beautiful than fiction.

Yet, all those things are nothing – they are completely unattainable – without the realization that we are sufficient in our current roles.

We can always aspire to something high and great, yet, we must be able to love ourselves, right here, right now, in this moment, as we truly are.

The first step towards becoming great is the art of self love – the act of seeing yourself as that to-be star, and the act of seeing the magnificence and importance of your current position. Without the here and now, in this very moment, you will never get there. To discard the importance of now, or to discard the importance of yourself is to discard the importance of the education and experience that has gotten you to this point, and will continue to grow as you grow to new heights.

The art of self love is to first, accept who you are. Write it out: “I am these specific things…”. Then you must accept your place – only from there can you move forward. Realize that what you have now is sufficient to set your stars in motion; to put you where you need to be. Realizing your current position may mean a simple shift in your point of view. Where you see yourself at a boring desk job, you are really gaining the knowledge and skills to move forward. A simple juxtaposition of your view makes it easier to recognize the possibilities – possibilities which are boundless.

The point of a concert is for everyone to flock to a venue to rock the fuck out to their favorite band.  Now, I understand that some people’s version of “rock the fuck out” is different than yours, but take a cue from the girl standing in front of you or the guy standing next to you.  If they are not mosh-pit thrashing, but instead bopping along to the music, you probably shouldn’t be thrashing and throwing elbows.  SO to the tiny Asian girl who kept jumping on my heels at the Lips show – this means you.  You were exhibiting poor concert etiquette.

Along the same vein – I want to make a shout out to the obviously trashed guy.  Dude, how on earth can you enjoy a good concert when you’re wasted?  Being wasted at a concert is a giant waste of your money and our time.  I could do without you elbowing me on the top of the cranium and at that point, you could do with about 4-5 hours of really decent sleep.  When you’re so wasted at a concert that you can’t keep your balance, you’re in danger of hurting someone around you and you’re probably not going to remember the giant confetti balloons, or elbowing me on the top of the head the SECOND time.  If you can’t stand up straight, like a normal person, you probably need to get to the back and sit down.  It’ll keep you from vomiting down someone’s back too!  While you’re at it, keep an eye on your elbows; if you elbow someone, you are asking for a fight and I don’t want to be the one to have to knock you out because you elbowed my friend in the face.  I can understand a bubbly drunk… But if you can’t remember what song the band just sang, go sit down and get a hold of yourself.

OH!  And sweaty, drunk, no-shirt-guy?  You’re just as bad.  Put your shirt back on because I don’t need your body sweat all over my bare arms.

Good concert etiquette is knowing the appropriate time to mosh or to crowd surf.  It’s being respectful of others’ personal space.  If you’re a “shorty” and you can’t see and you feel like you’d die if you didn’t, go ahead and ask the person in front of you NICELY, instead of jumping all over them to try to budge them out of the way.  You have no idea how many taller people are totally okay with you standing in front of them because you’re so short, they have NO problem seeing over you.  Pushing into people to get them to move doesn’t work when you’re driving around in your car, it rarely works in line at the DMV, so what makes you think it’s any better at a concert?    And if you’re jumping to see over me, stop it.  I’ll make room for you if you’re shorter than me.  Sadly, your tall boyfriend can stand back there – but if you’re shorter than I am, you don’t need to jump all over the place to see over me, because generally you’re that jumping girl that’s stomping on my heels and I sort of want to choke you.

For the moshers out there – I know who you are, and I can tell if you’re experienced.  When you’re in the mosh pit, everyone is moshing and everyone in a good pit keeps an eye out.  Nobody gets punched in the face; if someone falls, your main goal is to get them up off the ground so nobody gets hurt.  I’ve seen limbs stepped on and people have had to be carried out by friends when the pit got too rough.  Just think – what would happen if you got pushed hard enough to hit the ground?  You don’t want your ankle busted because some asshole stomped on you instead of helping you get up off the ground.  Nobody is out to hurt each other and nobody moshes for the sake of moshing – it’s really about the music.  If the band is playing a slower jam, chill out and catch your breath.

(For bonus reading on Mosh Pits, go here!)

If you’re in a crowd with drinks, keep your drink down, instead of above the short chick’s head.  I’ve worn so many people’s drinks that I feel this one needs to be restated.  I’d rather have your beer on my shoes (I wear my Chucks specifically for concerts, for that reason because I can hose them off later) than in my hair.  If your drink is super full, you need to drink some off the top before pushing your way through the crowd.

About crowd surfing – if you’re crowd surfing in a skirt, you’re going to get a finger to the bum.  It probably won’t be on purpose, but if you’re crowd surfing in a skirt, you’re doin’ it wrong.  The same goes for people who wear boots to crowd surf.  I could see if they were soft cotton, but big old hard boots suck when someone’s crowd surfing and they catch you in the face.  I know a few taller guys who’ve caught a Doc to the face.  It’s about as fun as you can imagine.

There will always be some lech out there grabbing ass in a crowd, so keep an eye out for each other.  Don’t let each other get too drunk or get lost at a festival show (like Sasquatch – apparently some guy got separated from his friends and locked in a port-a-potty).  Keep each other hydrated and if your friend is getting too rowdy, tell them to chill out.

As with anywhere, if you wouldn’t do it in an open and public place, don’t do it at a concert – includes spitting on people, throwing gum at people or whipping out your unmentionables.  Don’t ruin the fun for everyone by being a douche.

If you can think of anything I forgot, leave us a comment!

I am “fairy hair” and tattoos. I am a love for books and a strong hate for raisins. I am a little burlesque, a little rocker, a little My Little Pony with a penchant for shoes.

I am my wit, my sarcasm. I am my good days and my not-so-good days. I am a culmination of the knowledge I’ve gained in my past experiences, and I’m okay with that. I have been all those experiences, and I am now this experience.

I am blue, sometimes… and I am sparkly pink sometimes. I express myself through the way I paint my surroundings… sometimes green, sometimes grey, but always true to the color of my being.  Sometimes I color in the lines and sometimes I crumple up the sheet or color on the other side.  It builds character.

Image via Raindrops and Rosepetals

Sometimes I’m uncouth, but I make up for it by being sincere and kind. Sometimes I envy, but I realize if I want it, I can have it. Sometimes I’m brash, and I make up for it in deference to those who know more than I do.  I’m often eccentric, I slather it with charm and serve it on a ceramic dish.  I can be patient, I am loyal.  I can be vulnerable, I can be vulgar.  I’m okay with that, because I have control over how I react.  I am impatient, sometimes too pessimistic, often overly enthusiastic.  I am me.

I’m whole.  I’m a package deal.  I come as I am.  I define myself by my wandering path and not by a set of socially pre-devised characteristics.

I am great, I am small, I am magic, I am smart.  I am beautiful, in this package, wrapped in satin ribbon and decorated holographic stars.  I am a dream-girl, a realist and an old soul who possesses childlike wonder.

I am me.  I am okay with that.  I love and have been loved and am loved – if by nobody other than myself.  I am happy with that being.

How do you define yourself?  What makes you whole?  Who are you – it’s your turn!  You do it now; define yourself.

You hear it in day to day talk: someone hates this musician and that actor, when all they REALLY know about the person is a note-worthy name and stories -often driven to extremes by mainstream media.  As one writer put it:

“…I think the problem is that the media takes a snapshot of what’s happening in the life of a celeb and then formulates a story around it whereby asking the world to believe that as fact and sit in judgment of that. All anyone wants, celebrity or not, is the power to determine what others know and don’t know, the opportunity to reveal what is real and not to be judged based on little to no facts that then formulate false assumptions. Know people for who they really are…not what one article or photograph says about them.”

The (in)famous still put their pants on one leg at a time like the rest of us. They buy groceries… they pay insurance… they have families… they fall in love. Because of a heightened awareness of their persona, they’re magnified, but it doesn’t mean they’re some super-human force who goes out and orders people around, and shits where they please. Often, that kind of magnitude is filled with a sort of longing to not be followed, to not be watched, to be able to walk to the park without being mobbed (look at Michael Jackson, as an example). Fame can be really awesome, but it’s not always what you’d expect.

As with any other group/label – we’re all human, we all have human wants and desires, and we’re no more “special” than one another. We just happen to have different purposes and places – we made different choices and set different priorities and ended up here.  Whether or not anyone else thinks so – we are all amazing creatures with the same kind of gene structure, a (sub)conscious desire to make something of ourselves, and a drive to love life.  If you TRULY want to become (in)famous, or if ever had that feeling in the past: the choice is yours to make.  You can be whatever you want, or do whatever you want and if you want it badly enough, you’ll make it happen, whether it’s a conscious change or not.  If you want to be a rockstar, be one – no need to try to “become” one.

Image via Stylishcorpse.wordpress.com

♦  ♦  ♦

On a side note, you may say, “Those people are successful and unreachable.”  That unreachable status may be driven by the fact that when every move is magnified, there’s more scrutiny towards every action.   But, in a generation where everyone is watching, we’re all put on a pedestal.  All our actions can (and will) be seen, scrutinized, and sometimes remembered.  What will you be remembered for?  Will it be monetary success?  Happiness?  You can rock-the-fuck-out at just being you; you’ll be remembered for being genuine, and living la bonne vie.  It’s that Diana Vreeland quote come to life: “The only real elegance is in the mind; if you’ve got that, the rest really comes from it.”

Or a better known quote from Harry Winston: “People will stare.  Make it worth their while.”

That feeling of joy you get when you write something amazing – that’s rockstar status.  That exhilarated feeling you have when you give something your all – that’s your inner big, bad, rockin’ self waiting to be released.  We’ve all got the power to be that awesome.  So do it – be remembered for being the amazing thing you are.  You don’t have to become a rockstar, you already are one.

We spend so much time trying to get to the next step that we may overlook this one.  We are all a song, a light and a magnet that draws the amazing to us.  We are all given amazing opportunities that we have no choice but to embrace.  It’s not about being in front of the bright lights, it’s about what you do when the curtain goes down and everyone goes home.  We all have that, no matter who we are.

It’s about doing your best with what you have because we are all famous and infamous, we are all rock stars.  We are all still children and we are all loved.  We are all gorgeous.  We are all doing our best.  We are all making waves and leaving our mark.  We all have the chance to make something, create something and be something and it’s up to us to move forward.

There is nothing we cannot do and nowhere we cannot go.  We draw the life to us and we are made by the power of our choices.  We are one, alone and singular, yet we are all in this together.  We are all pieces of the same puzzle;  each piece is as important as the next.

What is our next step?  To love; to give love and be loved in return.  We are here to see and experience and make life happen.

PS – for more fantastic inspiration, read this article via A New Mode

It’s been a busy week with a lot of good things that I will expand upon in later posts, but for now, here’s a list of things I love this Thursday morning:

♦ Friends who keep their hopes up, and brighten my day in the process

♦ My big deck umbrella; also, sitting under it with a beverage, sketching out window displays and shoe details, staying out of the sun, etc.

♦ METRIC TONIGHT!!!  I can’t wait to see K-Slice and Troy.  The show will be amazing!

♦ Sunny days – though I like to reap the benefits from under my umbrella.

♦ Productivity – I’ve got some good articles coming up, we’re moving along on the fashion show, I’ve got craft projects to do – FUN!

In other news, if you live in Seattle and haven’t gotten your tickets to the Half Past Lavish Parasol Party – featuring designs from Deco Modiste.  Check out this post for info, and a link to buy tickets!  All proceeds from the parasol sale will benefit the American Heart Association – so it’s a fashion show for a good cause!

Hope to see you there, and I hope your week has been amazing so far!!

I wonder if we’re ever really satisfied with our life or if we’re always just looking for the next best thing.  While looking ahead is never a bad idea, it’s important to stay attached to the now.  Do you ever wonder how much of the present you’re missing by focusing on the future?

(Img via *bufan)

The problem with always looking ahead though is that you’re missing the great life you’ve got right here, right now.  You may miss the joy of that first cup of coffee, or a joke between you and a coworker.  You may be surprised when another school year is over and you are left wondering what to do next.  You may look back when you’re older and ask yourself “Where DID all the time go?” – especially if, at your age now, you feel that way.

I know I sure as hell don’t want to look back on my day, week or life and wonder, “Where did all that go??  It flew by before I knew it!”  I’ve started to consciously remind myself to enjoy the here and now.  The future and past are both nonexsistent.  You only have now.  If you’re unhappy with your now, change it; however, if there’s nothing you can or would change, all you can do is find things to enjoy in the right now.

I encourage you to try it this weekend.  While you’re out on your (hopefully 3-day) weekend adventure, stop for just a moment and examine how it feels to be you, and alive.  Take a small mental note of how amazing life is – for example, how you feel, of the beautiful parts of your surroundings, or even the simple pleasure of your senses.

We all get a little too focused on the future, just like we are all a little too aware of the past.  Your past brought you here, but it’s not you.  Your future lies ahead, and you will get wherever you need to be.  Have patience, and while you’re waiting, why not enjoy the scenery?

The article is incredibly relevant in a time where we’re seeing articles like “Jealousy is the Killer of Girl Love” and “Open Letter: To the Women in the World“.  Hell, I just wrote an article at The Demoiselles on how catty women are sometimes towards their thinner counterparts.  One thing my article pointed out was that the only thing keeping women down, is ourselves, and I fully stand behind that statement.

(Img via MommyNeedsCoffee)

Blimes’ article points out that snarky remarks and cattiness are part of female culture and that was shocking to me.  It was more shocking because in talking with male friends they pointed out: “You give a woman a picture of another hot woman, and generally they’re going to rip her to shreds – whether it’s her weight or the way she’s dressed, or who she is and whether or not she’s successful.  Women judge each other more harshly than men ever do.”  I think it’s true too!  I’ve noticed, hanging out with some of my gal pals, that they’re quick to judge Angelina Jolie for being “skeletor-skinny” in Changeling or to *snerk* at a woman who’s dressed a little more provocatively than the rest.  Why are we so quick to judge and be nasty about it!?

Blimes’s article says straight out: “Women are in competition.  They fear being replaced by someone younger or better looking.”  The article also notes that “much of this [bitchiness] is born of a combination of envy and inadequacy, and that feelings of powerlessness and ugliness are directed outwards against the world in attempt to prevent them festering inside.”  It’s rings true when it seems like women get some perverse joy out of putting each other down.  The masochism doesn’t stop there though, because “the qualities to which women most aspire are exactly the same as those they most despise in others”, according to Blimes.

The cattiness, bitchiness and general snark towards each other has GOT to stop.  If we don’t support each other, how are we all ever going to succeed.  The pushing each other down to get ahead means that as a whole, we’re all NEVER going to get ahead.  Instead of thinking “OH she looks like a tramp in that short skirt,” make your inner monologue say, “Good for her, rocking that skirt with those legs!  Do it, girl!”.  If you can’t make your brain do it right away, at least follow up that snarky inner monologue with something positive – an idea that you’re correcting this wrong thought pattern of putting women down.  Eventually you’ll get used to consciously thinking good things about the women around you and that mean little voice will shut it’s trap.

More importantly than that, though, don’t engage in the vocal liberation of trash talk.  It’s like your ma used to tell you – if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.  By talking trash, you’re demoting feminism, and we’ve come so far in the last century – we can’t afford to ruin it.  That catty attitude is definitely “out of style”.

Article source:

Blimes, Alex. “Twisted Sisters ” Vogue UK. May 2009: 87-88.